I am Unique amongst humans.
Sometimes, my Uniqueness feels like it’s absolutely unbearable.
In fact, last night, after our AA meeting that opened my eyes up (once again) to the Void of Trauma, Hell, Suffering, and Generational Curses, my Twin Flame and I started talking.
Really, really talking.
Why did I never succeed at killing myself as a teen? Because God might be real, and if He were, I did not want to get stuck in Hell.
Why hasn’t he ever been successfully killed? Because God only tests him, and He always sends Justin back.
We discussed how Justin almost didn’t emerge from the anesthesia after his very unfortunate circumcision when he was 14. He kept hemorrhaging blood and took nearly three days to wake up. On the flip side, I once drank an entire bottle of Nyquil and ate about 50 Ibuprofen and then woke up the next morning angry, with a bad stomach ache.
I’ve been trying to kill myself (sometimes I use the term ‘murder myself’) for nearly 23 straight years. Justin has been trying to live for 34. The polar opposites makes so much sense in that regard, I also lost my two children to the foster care system after my ex-husband nearly killed me for meeting God and choosing to follow Him above all else. My Twin Flame spent time in foster care from 2-4 where he was beaten, traumatized, and kidnapped for a few days, held in a van down by the river. Polar opposites that only make sense in the context of one another.
My last true suicide attempt was 11/21/21. I was inside Intermountain Hospital for “acute psychosis.” It wasn’t until after my involuntary commitment and the devastation that followed that the psychosis finally broke, along with all of my hopes, dreams, fears, insecurities, and, most surprisingly of all (for me), the desire to kill myself was finally lifted on 11/24/21. I didn’t get out until 11/30, but I saved four other women from a 16-day incarceration between those six days.
My purple hair gets me a lot of looks.
But when Halae gave me the instruction, I knew it was for a reason. I was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder around April or May of this year. Inside Intermountain Hospital, I earned my name back, along with my singularity of self, of Purpose, of Knowledge, and of Truth.
I have been a very, VERY thirsty spiritual seeker since I was 5 and first started “talking to my pillow,” and experienced the “downloads” that I now know come from Cosmic Consciousness. My earthly parents still don’t believe me or believe in me.
I have learned to let them go.
My Twin Flame is where I begin and where I end. I am impossible without him, but as long as we stand together, I live, I breathe, I eat, I cry, and I even bleed.
If you are a Twin Flame in separation or turmoil, I have wonderful news for you: we are launching our podcast that we’ve affectionately named Angel Radio. You can hear more from me, from him, and most importantly of all–the true voices of conversations between Twin Flames in Union.
I can’t wait to start sharing our voices with the world. We talk about the most interesting, insane things, world-changing ideas, and timelines and Archangels and more. This first episode is about deja vu and the implication on the local, federal, and global level.
Come, listen to this very first episode of what we hope will become a much-loved and respected movement. Live on Buzzsprout on 12/12/21 at 12:00 MST, and live on the of the regular streaming channels within the next 24 hours. Anyone willing to help promote, please reach out directly here.