Have you ever tried really hard to do something that SHOULD be working, and yet it seems like you do nothing but face obstacle after obstacle in actually accomplishing it?
This has been the last three months for me.
I’ve been working at building this coaching business, trying to break into energy healing work, and all the while, I’m STRUGGLING. I’m talking forcing and pushing something that was clearly not meant to be.
So, I paid for a session with a psychic mentor. Someone I have always looked up to. And you know what she said to me?
“You’re not on the right path. If you keep going this way and forcing this, you will end up in the hospital. Find your red road and let this go.”
I will tell you, that was NOT the message I wanted to hear.
(In fact, in that session she also told me that I was in the middle of active Chaos Addiction, and I didn’t want to hear that either, but I can now freely admit that she was right.)
So, what is the red road?
According to Wikipedia, “The red road is a modern English-language concept of the right path of life, as inspired by some of the beliefs found in a variety of Native American spiritual teachings.”
Shanté, the woman that I had my session with, lives with a Native American practitioner, and so she uses that language, but I think we can all identify with the concept of the Red Road.
As she explained it, when you find the red road, things will flow easily and you will feel that inner sense of knowing. And as she did a card reading for me, she showed me how beautiful my life will be once I have found my Red Road, and how difficult it will be for me if I keep trying to force this current path to work out.
So, what did I do after her reading?
Ignored it, of course.
Spent hours trying to pick her apart in my mind, and finally decided that she was projecting and that none of it was true.
Things got worse. Much worse.
When you try to force something that isn’t in alignment (or not on your Red Road), the consequences can be as simple as a time waste with nothing to show for it, or as complex as the threat of an international lawsuit, and all of the emotional turmoil that brings.
(Even worse, the threats came after I reached out with a sincere heart to make amends in a relationship that I was under the impression wasn’t even that broken. But, hey, that’s life.)
So, I did what any responsible business owner would do and tried harder.
But in the end, when something is not meant to be, it has a way of not coming into being.
No matter what I did, what tactic I employed, how hard I tried to gather sign-ups and signatures, all of my fancy emotional appeals and brilliant marketing techniques just kept Failing (with a capital F.)
Eventually, I had to admit that Shanté was right. I wasn’t walking my red road.
The biggest thing that helped me to concede this point was signing up as a vendor at Tea and Tarot, a local metaphysical faire. Holy smokes, y’all, nothing has ever lit my SOUL ON FIRE the way that preparing for this faire did.
I created oils, crocheted hats, tumbled rocks, and so much more.
I don’t know yet, part of me thinks that it’s too soon to tell, but I think that I may have found my thing.
And on top of finding my thing, I found a new friend. Gypsy Valentine has contributed so much to my sense of purpose, of worth, and of ability in such a short time that I can’t shake off the “coincidental” timing of her arrival.
As a member of the vendor community, Gypsy is extremely supportive, helpful, kind, generous, and caring. She has helped me to see that, “when you build it slowly, it lasts forever,” and many other gifts.
So, where next?
The biggest thing that I have learned so far in 2022 is that I need to slow down. To find patience. To take the time to learn fully and deeply before I decide to teach. To quiet myself, and find peace. To spend time in nature, in silence, in reflection, and in gratitude. To forgive deeply and cheer quietly.
All of these things and more are possible when I bring myself out of the public eye and spend time on me. On finding and cultivating a relationship with my red road. On listening and being still instead of talking over anyone and everyone who is trying to help.
So, if you need me, I’ll be at my house. Doing me. Learning to take things a bit slower. Not forcing as much. Listening more.
And loving deeply.